pretty amazing grace

it's my interview with the VP for CHCOD today at 1:30 pm.. i am having anxiety attacks right now, haha! hope i will be confident enough.. confident is not a very familiar word to me.. i feel so cold already, and am shaking.. (must be the aircon, haha).. i just hope i wouldn't ruin it.. and hope that i would be shortlisted.. and accepted eventually, hehe.. derf has been telling me since yesterday that i can do this.. *sighs* can i forward the time to tomorrow, or tonight, so i wouldn't have to go through this whole ordeal anymore? haha! escapist perspective.. this is my first time to be really interviewed, my first time to be interviewed actually for a job position.. haha! that's why i'm so anxious.. i have no background or anything to compare with at all.. first time.. i hate these butterflies.. haha! i use to love butterflies.. but i want seeing them, not lurking around and over my stomach and heart.. haha! am i prepared enough? i have been researching for various interview questions.. and i practiced answering just this morning in front of my small mirror.. haha! but it's really different when it's actual.. of course, it should be different.. because i would not be talking to myself anymore, and not talking to a mirror, but a person (with high standard and integrity), an executive more accurately.. i also have to practice sitting straight and talking loud enough.. and i put a little make-up on my face which i've been practicing since i found out i am scheduled for an interview, and which got me a few pimples on my face (although i am not sure if this is make-up related, hehe).. i have another dilemma.. i have a skirt here to go with my long sleeves and blazer.. but i'm not sure if the skirt if formal enough for an interview.. although it looks like one to me.. hehe.. i just hope it will look like formal also to the one who will interview me.. grr, i really feel cold.. and i'm wearing a blazer already, and i have stockings, and i'm still on my slacks.. i'll just change into my skirt later.. 3 more hours and 30 minutes..

Preparing for my job interview, scheduled tomorrow, 9:00 AM...

The Attire: Old Rose/ Pink Long sleeves, Blazer, Slacks, Closed Shoes
The Look: Corporate (with make-up and all)

I should have bought the business suit "set" I saw at Trinoma Cinderella the last time we were there. It was just that I am not sure whether I will be scheduled for an interview so I had doubts buying the item. Now, I don't know how will I be able to buy the whole set, don't have enough money to buy it. Or maybe, I'll just buy the long sleeves. Anyway, I have my reliable blazer with me. And the slacks, I have a number of slacks to choose from anyway. Fair enough. It's a good thing though that I bought that closed shoes we saw at Landmark.

The only thing I have to trouble myself with right now is my soft speaking voice, and my low self-confidence. I have to appear relaxed and calm (even if my stomach is tumbling upside down or my heart is banging its loudest). I have to answer the questions fluently and articulately. I should sleep early tonight. I hope I can sleep. Normally, on one of these situations, I have a trouble sleeping because of all or any of these: tension, anxiety, fear, nervousness, excitement, etc.

I have to learn the basics of make-up tonight(!!!) since I normally don't apply make-up when I go to office. And I don't have a make-up kit (!!!), I don't even have blush-on which I think is the basic thing. Now, I have to really dig into Trinoma to look for even the basic make-up kit.

I am having anxieties already, even now. This is not good. I know. I have to constantly remind myself that I am not alone in this endeavor. That He who brought me here will continue to work and be with me, always. That I can bring glory to His name even in this simple job interview.