pretty amazing grace

One of the reasons why I wanna quit this job is not because I'm having a hard time keeping up, but because there has been a number of ill feelings regarding this job that I try very hard to hide.

There has been a number things I've expected that has not been met, and until now, whenever I think about it, my ill feeling keeps on coming back. I applied for a support specialist position, and that is where they hired me. Unfortunately, things had not been properly coordinated with the human resources department that I ended up not getting the position I applied for with a much lower position, and eventually, with a lower salary compared to my contemporary. Really, I don't mind starting in a lower position. It's just that, they should have told me in the first place about it. So I wouldn't expect greater than what they told me I would get. I only learned about these things actually when I was actually already working. But I only kept quiet. Because I thought there's nothing else I can do about it. But eventually, I started to speak up and relayed my situation to the authority. But unfortunately again, even after 4 times renewal of contract, and for almost a year now, my position, nor my salary did not change. And I am still holding back these feelings, and trying to keep them on my own. Although I wanted to bad to act something about it because they are being unfair to me, my previous actions did not earn me anything anyway, and so I stopped saying anything, only harboring more ill feelings. From time to time, every pay day that is, when I am reminded of this "injustice" that I felt they have incurred to me, this feeling grows even bigger. And the desire to get out of this place grows stronger also. Although, I don't know if my efforts have not been strong enough or if God is really making me stay in this place. Because until now, I still have nowhere else to go, and so I have to stay here, until I finally find a new place to start things again.

Now that I am seriously considering settling down anytime soon, the more I have this feeling to get out of this place to somewhere far better. Although I don't know yet where that far better is. Because as of this very moment, I don't think I can go on living like this for the rest of this contract.

I just hope that things will really work out for me in my attempts to seek for new and bigger things outside the four corners of this office.