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2007-03-16

Refine Me  

I come into this place
Burning to receive Your peace;
I come with my own chains
For wars I fought for my own selfish gains...



How often we are led astray by our own selfish ambitions? And how often we pray to God that He lead us back to His own will, back to His loving arms? How often do we ask Him to restore our souls, restore our lives, restore our brokenness? How often do we seek follow Him instead of our own ways of doing things?



My heart can't see,
When I only look at me
My soul can't hear,
When I only think of my own fears...



Most of the times, we rely on our strength when we are faced with things we think we need to deal with. What happens after are more frusrations, more disappointments, more discouragements for we think we have not done our best, and because our efforts are not enough. Just because we have thought we can do it on our own when the truth is we can't really. We are but one creation in this equally created world. And the best "Person" who could actually help us is when we turn our eyes to the Creator of all things. Who else but Him have the answer to our every query? Who else but Him have the strength, the wisdom, the power to do things according to its best purpose? Who else knows the next best thing? Who else have love enough to sacrifice His own Son for His rebellious people to be reconciled to Him; and with that same love grants forgiveness to everyone who ask for it, and who gives grace and mercy and compassion to those who need it the most -- His people, His children.



Lord, come with Your fire
Burn my desires refine me
Lord, my will have deceive me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child,
For I long to be reconciled to You..



Lord, we praise You for You are the God of love, You are love, and it is You who continue to love us in spite of our shortcomings. You are our Lord, our Saviour; You are ever-present help in trouble, You our our help in times on need. By Your grace, we are saved from the penalty of our sins, which is death, and through Your Son, who died on the cross for us, we can have life eternal. Forgive us dear Lord for heeding our own ways, forgive us for focusing our minds on the things of this world. Forgive us for satisfying ourselves with our own accompplishments, thinking that they can make us feel worth it, thinking that they can even make us happy. But You alone O Lord satisfies us even with our deepest longings. You alone can give us everlasting joy. And in You alone we feel our very worth, our very purpose here on earth. For indeed, without You, we are nothing, apart from You, we are mere creations wandering into the darkness. You are our only Way, our Truth, and our Life. You are the One who lights our paths and guides us in our daily walks, who directs our steps and gave meaning to our very being. May You give us wisdom O Lord in every decision we would make. May You give us strength in every trial that we are facing. Comfort us when we feel discouraged and frustrated about circumstances in life, even with people and help us to also forgive, help us to give the love which You have showed to us first and foremost. Lord, may You continue to reveal to us Your will in our lives, direct us to places You are calling us. Lord, may every thing in our life be according to Your Divine will. May we continue to shine Your light, may our lives be Son-reflectors; just as the moon reflects the light coming from the sun, may we be the moon for You. Thank You dear Lord for this privilege of coming to You in prayer. To You alone be the glory, praise and thanksgiving. This I pray, in Christ's precious name. Amen.



It's all I can do,
To give my heart and soul to You and pray
And pray, oh I will pray.



* Thank you to Jennifer Knapp's Refine Me.

2007-03-12

xx crossroads xx  

Once again, I am at a crossroad. After graduation, what's next? I had been applying for jobs the last days and weeks of my life, to no avail. Sometimes, it's so easy to just give up. But I could not just do that. I could not just give up. I could not ust give in to the pressure, to the luring of depression, and to my mistakes in the past. Past is past. And we should not be its prisoners; it will only bring us down and down, until we could no longer move forward. Too much self-pity that I did not gradaute on time or that I should have done my best in terms of my academics. The time is time when I should be concerned of what's now, what's here, of the present. Because it is through this present that my future is being made up.


And although I am not sure what will happen to me in the days to come, I have this assurance. That my God, the Lord of the Universe holds me at the palm of His hand, and that along the way, wherever I will be or whatever will become of me, He will never leave nor forsake me. He is the same God yesterday (who had always saw me through), today (continue molding me into being like His Son), and tomorrow!

2007-03-07

A Day in Life  

Goodbye's certainly not the sweetest word to say. Sometimes, I hate saying goodbye. Because I wouldn't know what's next. Especially if I don't know what will happen next. It's not that it's really the end. It's just that it looks or feels as if it is.



Once again, I am alone in my room. Nobody but me and the music playing in the background. No Sarah or ying goodbye. Alicia to talk to. No Sarah or Alicia to tell you how their day has been. No Sarah or Alicia to say "Hi" or "Hello" to. For twice already in this room, I had been left behind. And suddenly, I feel so lonely looking at the empty bed, the empty table and cabinet around me.
These are the moments..



Just this morning I was restless, nervous and excited over my exam to a job I've been applying (I even forgot my resume at home? Imagine. Good things my Derf is there to get it for me). Yeah, good things Derf is here. I just thank God for having him here. Certainly, something to be cheerful about. Just knowing he's there for me ease the pain of parting and saying goodbye.


*Smile*

2007-03-03

Start of Something New!  

I like changes, but am not fond of them. Why? Well, for once, I like changing myself, more like and hope so, for the better. But most of the times, I can not adspt well to the changes happening around me, especially situations, circumstances, and the likes. I like it when the year is changing, new hopes, new visions, etc. I like it when the day is changing, new day, new opportunity, and the likes. But when it comes to big changes such as going from one phase of life to next, argh, I am having a hard time coping with it. Most of the times, I end up being pressured by the things I need to do in order to keep up with the flow of events. And being pressured is not one of the joyous things in my life. Maybe, I just have a tme for myself. Maybe, not the perfect time for those people around me, but I know when I can fully function well, at a certain time I know and feel like it. Maybe, it takes a time. But I know I will do it everntually. Oftentimes, this is not the case because well, I don't have all the time in the world. Duh, it's revolving around the sun and rotating around its axis without any force or whatsoever coming from me, so why would it wait for me? What should I do? As if there's a lot of choices. Of course, I have to run with it!

Got to go!