pretty amazing grace

When was still in college, I would often wish I could turn the time forward to when I am already working, already earning for myself, already out there in the world on my own.. Just to escape the readings I have to finish in time for the exam, or the papers I have to pass in the morning..

Now, I'm in that world I've been looking forward to, and boy, it's not as easy as I thought it would be.. I thought that because I'd only be thinking of my work from 8 AM to 5 PM, I would no longer be obligated to spend my nights doing more work, as we often do when we were students with all the homeworks and papers and reports to do. The past months when we were so busy with a lot of projects at hand and with only me and Maya and our boss manning our department, it has been very very toxic. Derf has been prodding me to make it a point to go home by 5 PM.. But that is easy to say. Of course I could always say yes, I will go home by 5, but with all the work you still have to attend to at the end of the day, who cares if it's already 5 o'clock, as if I don't have all the time in the world, cause I really don't have all the time in the world; next day, new projects will arise as if to continually load us up and then we'll all be under the questioning of this very demanding users and your wanting to really make it a point to finish your projects well and excellent!

Whew! I want a break from all of these. I want a time out of this world.. If only I could spend even just one whole day without thinking of the problems at work or even the problems in my life and just indulge myself with a beautiful, relaxing, nature-binding experience.. I want to go somewhere I've never been to. I want to go somewhere full of trees and water (even though I don't swim, I just wanted to hear the sound of waves and rocks clashing together).. I want to sleep in a quiet room, no vehicles. I want to smell the freshness of God's creation, no smoke, no smelly canals or dirty pavements..

*sighs* Where? When? How? I don't know.. Only time will tell..